Dear Friends,

Congratulations on your engagement! As you look forward to sharing your life together as husband and wife, you undoubtedly have many questions and concerns. We would like to share with you the rich depth and beauty of what it means to be married in the Catholic Church. Here are some steps to help you begin planning your wedding. After having read and reflected upon this information, if you have any questions, or if you are engaged and prepared to formally inquire about the possibility of celebrating your wedding at St. Mary's,  please contact the Parish Office and set up an initial interview with Fr. Chris, where most of your questions will be answered in detail..
 

- MARRIAGE AT ST. MARY’S PARISH-

Our preparation includes several meetings with a priest as well as opportunities to discuss marriage with laypeople.  The following is a brief list of general questions and information about beginning your marriage here.  If you have any further questions, just call or bring them to the initial interview.  Thanks and congratulations!

BEFORE THE WEDDING.

You must contact the parish at least six months before the date of the wedding.  You should also find out what dates are opened for your marriage before confirming halls or other services in order to avoid conflicting celebrations.  In general, we do not celebrate weddings in the seasons of lent and Advent.

To be married at St. Mary's all Catholics need to be confirmed in the Catholic faith and free to marry, (never married before).

Some documentation is required as you began your marriage, and this information will be gathered and/or filled out there in the process of preparation.

For couples who are established members of this parish, the offering for the wedding ceremony is $200, payable to St. Mary's Church.  Couples who belong to another parish normally complete marriage preparation and documentation in their parish.  To be married at St. Mary's, non-parishioners need permission/ delegation from their pastor in writing.  This fee for the wedding ceremony for non-parishioners is $600.  After a date is reserved for your wedding, any changes to the schedule will require payment of an additional $100.

ON THE WEDDING DAY:

The Mary Ann room, located on the ground floor of the church, is available for the bride and attendance, a side sacristy for the groom and groomsmen.  These rooms should be left in same condition in which they are found.

Couples have access and use of the church, for one hour before, and one hour after the wedding to decorate, take photographs, etc.  Specific guidelines for decorations, music, and other practical matters will be discussed at your initial interview

Step 1: Reflect together on the importance of faith in your life.

Before making any concrete plans for your marriage celebration, you should ask yourselves some questions: “What place does God have in our lives?” “What place does the Church have in our lives?” “Are we striving to practice our faith?” “What sort of faith do we want for our children?”

Your answers to these questions should directly affect where and how you choose to celebrate your wedding and live your marriage. For a Catholic, a desire to be married in the Catholic Church should indicate an acceptance of the teaching of Jesus Christ as handed on to us by the Church.

Jesus, in response to very specific questions about how we are to live, gave very concrete answers. He summarized his teaching in the twofold Commandment of love of God and love of neighbor. He gave further concrete expression to his teaching by reaffirming the ten Commandments. From the beginning, the Church has proclaimed and defended these truths taught by Jesus, and urges couples to live in true love according to God’s plan for marriage.

Step 2: Make a decision about where you are in your faith, and where you want to be... and ACT on that decision.

Marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacred covenant freely accepted by a man and a woman that is ordered to the good of the spouses and to the procreation and education of children. It is by its very nature a bond that cannot be broken. It is a life-long commitment to another person that promises exclusive fidelity.

Marriage requires incredible unselfishness and hard work, but promises God’s help. For those who accept God’s invitation, it promises eternal life. During the wedding ceremony, the couple is asked to affirm this faith. The desire of a couple to marry gives witness to their love. The desire to be married in the Church should also give witness to their acceptance and living of the teaching of Jesus Christ as handed on to us by the Church.

Step 3: Contact the Church

Having reflected together upon their faith, couples who wish to profess their love for each other and affirm their faith in God and the Church should contact the parish in which the Catholic party is a registered and practicing member.

What Do We Do Now?

If you are a registered and practicing member of St. Mary's, we invite you to contact us before you make any other plans in regards to your wedding.

If the Catholic Church has not been a significant part of your life, please contact us! Even if a wedding in the Church is not appropriate or possible at this time, we would like to share with you our Faith!

Common QuestionsWe’re engaged! What next?

Begin by contacting the parish church at which the bride or groom is a registered and practicing member. Contact your parish first, before making any other arrangements (reception, attendants, etc.)..

What is a practicing Catholic?

A practicing Catholic is someone who accepts and strives to live the teaching and Commandments of Jesus Christ and His Church and who regularly participates in the worship of the Church. This means receiving the Sacraments regularly, and supporting the Church financially.

What if we’re not practicing?

Now is the time to begin. Seeking a Catholic wedding presumes that a Catholic is striving to live his or her faith.

What if one of us is not Catholic?

The bishop can grant permission for a wedding ceremony between a Catholic and non-Catholic. He may even grant permission for the ceremony to take place in a non-Catholic church. It is presumed by the Church, however, that the faith of the Catholic party is of such importance that he/she will strive to live that faith and pass on that faith to any children the couple may have.

What if we’re already living together?

Choosing to live together before receiving God’s blessing is a public statement that is inconsistent with the teaching of Jesus and the Church. Living together is not a good preparation for the life-long commitment of marriage. Secular studies, confirming the wisdom of the teaching of Jesus, show that cohabitation before marriage drastically increases instances of infidelity and divorce. We urge couples to publicly affirm their faith by separating until after they have publicly committed themselves to each other before God and the Church.

I’m divorced. Can we get married?

Following the teaching of Jesus, the Catholic Church considers any previous marriage(s) of the bride or groom, whether contracted in a religious or civil ceremony, binding unless shown to be invalid. We are unable to set a date for a wedding until all previous marriages have been declared null by the authority of the Church. This is true even for parties who are not Catholic. The time and effort needed to acquire an annulment varies depending upon the circumstances. For further assistance and information on annulments, please contact the parish office.

 www.smartmarriages.com